Archive for April 20th, 2006

20
Apr
06

I am the CHAMPION!

Yes that’s right you worms! Crawl at my feet! Ping-Pong champion number one ovah heah! I’m the fucking King of New Jersey! Yes, yes the rumors are true… after not winning any video game since Megaman 2, I somehow won the Ping Pong Rockstar Games/Turntable Lab championship. Mostly by playing dirty! My strategy for the whole thing was 2-fold:

1. Beat everyone in my division so I could face off against Pete, with whom I’ve been email trash-talking lately (it was round-robin style, plus Pete’s last blog entry about Cut Copy was just embarassing. It was like that Rolling Stone 2 months ago where they’re all “TV On The Radio is a great new band no one knows about!” Good thing you have hip interns, Rolling Stone! I think NPR even beat you guys on that one!)

2. Use my man Liu Ping (Previously referred to as “The Avatar of China’s Perfect Overarching Rage”) and be like the Chinese economy — UNSTOPPABLE!

I am the best. Then afterwards, Lab employees went to Nublu and got punk’d by Nuyorican Soul Poets Cafe rejects. I get it, everyone there, you like Nina Simone!

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20
Apr
06

arsenal

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i don’t where the hell i was going with this image, but watching Arsenal play last night has to degree, restored my faith in art and style. watching them work their one touch magic and incredible ball distribution had me yelling out even in non-attacking midfield play. Henry was again untouchable, making that same move on the end-line several times untouched. Is there anyone quicker? Moving away from my style theme, the player of the game had to be Gilberto. That guy completely disrupted Riquelme’s game (although his free kicks were pretty incredible) with bullying and fierce challenges. Hleb is quickly becoming one of my favorite Gunners, he’s unveiling more and more moves as the season goes on. He’s like the equivalent to White Chocolate, but he rarely turns gives the ball away. Villareal is a great team though, an underdog that I would normally be rooting for if Arsenal wasn’t still in it. BTW, was it me or was the ref totally biased against Villa? Make sure to check the second leg next week on ESPN. Night games rule.
If Barca and Arsenal advance, it might be the most creative final in history.

20
Apr
06

…ascended the throne and established peace throught the land

Holy crap yeah, that was a good time. For those of you who might’ve been thinking about it, don’t even. Woody + The Avatar of China’s Perfect Overarching Rage + SNAP: The Power (and Oran “juice” Jones, Ect.) = UNSTOPPABLE. Don’t mess around or you will be…..seeerrrvedd????? (ahhh…hahaha….)
And for those of you who weren’t satisfied with freaky Nepalese baby, go ahead and do a google image search for “harlequin fetus.”
(P.S.- Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis, out 5.22.06, $39.99. The play is fuckin vehement, and it looks mean like something you haven’t seen–unless you PC Game, but this moves better, and it’s fun, like a cheetah-with-a-keytar. Apt of Rockstar to hone in on and showcase the capabilities of the next gen consoles here, before looking to something more massive (Midnight Club, Warriors, GTA, ect). And all that. I could say Table Tennis is polished, but really it gleams–yes give me beer and I will apply my vast and unbounded use of the online thesaurus in your favor. Anywise, admirable for what it is. I game so I know–natch.)
(Ok I’ve said my peace, and I’m signing off before I try to make a joke about someone getting Ping-P0WNNED!!!!1!!11!!@!!!)
-Tha Prodigy

20
Apr
06

rockstar

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one of the coolest way to get your product some shine.
Rockstar invited the Lab to this swank pad in Chinatown
to check out their new ping pong game.
After romancing us with free pizza and beer, we proceeded to participate
in the first annual Rockstar-Lab Ping Pong Tournament simultaneously
played on 3 flatscreen setups. Woodman prevailed taking
out “The Prodigy” Liz Spangler and “The Outsider” Freddy Got Fingered.
some observations:
1) match of the tournament: lloydski vs. The Prodigy, 50 hit rallies
2) shot of the match: The Prodigy’s winning death shot vs. lloydski with the expression
of an assasin
3) unfair advantage: they played Snap’s “The Power” which gave Woodman
and extra boost in the finals, conversely Black Moon brought him down
4) asians prevail in video games once again, big surprise
5) note to big companies: give us free food and a good time, and we will blog you.




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