Archive for February 11th, 2006

11
Feb
06

Fuckin’ James Wong

FinalDestination3-Poster1.jpg

OMFG. This shit destroys. Arguably a new genre, the neurotic thriller FD3 blows away its predecessors on so many levels I’m planning on mostly-unironically seeing it again next weekend. To wit!
1. This is the first ever trilogy where the order of quality goes 3, 1, 2. Unlike most excellent trilogies that go 2, 1, 3 (eg-Back to the Future, Terminator, Aliens), this one tops the list as having the 3rd installment crush everything that came before it.
2. I’m getting a T-shirt made that says “Fuckin’ James Wong.” (hereafter referred to as FJW) Dude is the DUDE. We’ll have to forgive him the sins of directing The One with Jet Li, but I gotta give it up for my fellow countryman.
3. Village Voice panned FD3, but that’s just because they have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. The elaborate Mousetrap ways in which FJW sets up the demises for his douchebaggy high school students is so tense it borders on brilliant. AARGH! Let’s pump iron while swords and stuffed bears surround us! FJW will crush the haters like the giant sign that crushes that Christian Slater wannabe character.
4. Way to not even reference FD2, FJW! The over-the-top style of 2, while thoroughly entertaining, was not directed by FJW, and upon his triumphant return to the series dude was all “this is my fucking franchise, mine and mine alone!” I cannot stress this enough: everything that was good about 1 was extrapolated and blown up to feature length with FD3.
5. See this shit. It is high entertainment at its most fundamental level (ie-cheering and clapping when you see your fellow human beings get their heads sawed off by a motor). I am literally seeing 1 and 2 again, on DVD, with commentary, and then seeing 3 again. It’s a petty and kind of cheating way to have something to look forward to again.

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