08
Feb
06

Way To Hit On Your Future Ex-Wife, Sam Beckett

OK, I’ve been on this kick where I’m trying to decide what holds up from my childhood and what doesn’t. For example: Transformers the cartoon series DOES NOT.
Oh hey, let’s go find the Autobots.
[flashing cut of Decepticon symbol to Autobots symbol]
Oh hey, look there’s the Decepticons.
Oh hey, let’s form Devastator etc etc
Meanwhile, Transformers The Movie definitely DOES. Orson Welles in the house! ‘Your bargaining position is highly dubious.’ Other examples in the DOES NOT is the Ben Stiller Show. Como se dice ‘dated’? Let’s get some more pointless 90s twangy guitar noodling in that theme song! Let’s hire the dude who wrote the opening score for Blind Date!

Voltron? Awesome in concept, so weak in execution! Way to shatter my precious childhood memories, inability of Voltron to hold up in retrospect! Why don’t you form blazing sword the second you form the head, Keith? Is it because you’re so shattered from Sven biting the dust?

Digress!

So, my newest addition: QUANTUM LEAP. Anything involving time travel I’m pretty much 98% sold, just don’t suck. Groundhog Day? Frequency? The blinding pure God-force of the Back To The Future triptych? I Netflixed the first DVD of the first season, and after the WORST 5 MINUTES it gets better and better (very slowly). Then episode 2 with Teri Hatcher? FIRE! How can you not empathize with the Bakula? Paul Bellasario in the house! I’m building slowly so that when the one where he goes to ‘Nam to save his brother comes on it’s gonna be Boner-town.

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